Being a highly sensitive person (HSP – Highly Sensitive Person is a term used by widely published psychologist and researcher, Dr. Elaine Aron, after her extensive research on this population. To read more about this, click here) can be quite challenging when the environment we live in promotes faster, louder, multi-task, high performance oriented culture. Once upon a time, HSPs probably could have blend in with the rest of the population without being noticed. In today’s world, though, HSPs stand out when they find the need to retreat. The demands of the modern society can be overwhelming and put HSPs under stress, feeling over aroused and over-stimulated.
The HSPs Among Us
At work settings, HSPs are more oriented to details, and they are loyal and conscientious workers. HSP works best in a quiet and calm environment, and prefers to process information alone. HSP may seem less social at work, but usually feels comfortable and more at ease with one on one interactions.
As a student, a HSP learns much better when he or she is not over aroused. Being put on the spot, answering questions in class, or join in discussions are situations which may cause high arousal for HSPs. Unfortunately, this is often misunderstood and HSPs may be seen as shy, not learning or do not understand. HSPs like to learn things through picking up subtleties and process information internally.
In relationships, HSPs tend to form fewer although deep and long lasting friendships. HSPs seem to have the tendency to fall deeply and passionately in love. The challenge for HSPs in romantic relationships is to find balance in the need for intense connection and the need for personal space. When a non-HSP and a HSP are in relationship, the non-HSP may become the in-charge person and interacts with the outside world for the pair, whereas the HSP may struggle with finding calmness, claiming space, or the need to be alone. The HSP may also take on the role of feeling more emotions or noticing subtleties for the couple. When two HSPs get together, they are similar in arousal levels and have good understanding of the other’s need to stay within comfortable arousal level. The pair does not have to deal with big differences, the relationship can be very satisfying but could also get boring in the long run.
How To Cope With Your High Sensitivity
Once HSPs understand the differences in their sensitivity and arousal level, they can make adjustments in the way they interact with others or the environment. By learning more about when it is safe to come out, or when it is time to retreat, they can manage level of stimulation to fit their needs. By understanding what helps reduce arousal or stress, and what stimuli to avoid when they become too much, HSPs can regulate arousal level better.
To improve relationship with others, HSPs may need to learn and practice setting healthy boundaries as well as communicating effectively: taking time to be alone, requesting changes to improve living or working environment, or leaving a party when they have enough. HSPs may also learn to make requests or ask to get more of whatever it is that they enjoy or makes them feel great. Sometimes they may find taking a risk or venture out of their comfort zone can bring a lot more energy and excitement into theirr life that they haven’t anticipated.
To help HSPs manage stress, practice good self care and routine is very important. Getting good nutrition, good sleep, and regular exercises are all necessary everyday self cares that nourishes HSPs and help them managing over-arousal. Spiritual practices, yoga, and many forms of meditation or relaxation techniques can reduce stress and induce state of calmness.
HSPs are also great candidates for psychotherapy. The rich inner life that a HSP seldom communicates to the outside world may be explored and supported by the safety provided in psychotherapy. Therapy can be a powerful healing place for HSPs to understand themselves, find acceptance, and learn to navigate the world with ease.
To learn more about Joy’s psychotherapy practice, please visit: http://psychotherapywithjoy.com
